Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in tarasfamily's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
4:24 am	Thank God tonight is almost over! Wow, what a week. First, the person we are buying our house is crazy. I knew this all along, but I did not realize just how crazy. He falsified papers at the water company and had our water turned off mid-week, trying to force us to give him back the house and property with all the improvements we have made, I guess so he can re-sell it for more money. So we had to come up with $5,000 on the spur of the moment and hire an attorney to file an injunction so we can get the water turned back on while we are waiting to go to court! Hopefully the water will be back on in the next few days, but meanwhile we are hauling water by tanks in a pickup. My aunt took one of the horses back to her house, and we are adjusting some other things to make them more water conservative. But it means taking Tara to Billis or getting a motel to do baths and stuff. That he would do this knowing all about Tara and Karma is infuriating to me. I can not even express my outrage coherently. Then, I was scheduled to work my 4 day weekend. I signed up for an extra day (making it 5 in a row 12 hour shifts on a holiday weekend) both because the unit needed help and because I need the money for the attorney. So, guess what? It was one of the most insane Weekends I have ever worked at this hospital. We have 2 times as many babies as we have been having lately, they are all very, very sick, and everyone is running like crazy people. I interviewed for a part time/PRN home health job this week as well, where I could pick up some hours closer to home and not have the long commute or so much time away from Tara. I am not sure how it went. I think if I was willing to quit my job in Dallas and work for them full time I would have definitely been offered a position on the spot, but they really want someone full time, so I am not sure what if anything they might offer me. And they know about Tara, so if I do take a job with them, I will be starting out honestly, just like I did here at the hospital. I don't like the idea of getting a job and then mentioning, oh, by the way, I have a daughter with extensive medical needs and will expect you to be understanding and accomodating about it. That just doesnt seem right. :-) I have been getting a bit of exercise and tracking what I eat this week, and am hoping it shows on the scale. I finally figured out how to do squats to build up those muscles! It was by accident, but I have done several sets this week, and BOY do my Thighs feel it! Yikes. My sister is in California with the baby. Hopefully having a good time and also still working her business. I would so love to see her get one of the free computers that the company is giving away. I plan on Mom and I both earning one too, but will have to really work this week to reach that goal. I do have a business meeting in the morning with 2 people in person, and I have 3 phone appts scheduled already in the afternoon. Hopefully that will get me started toward my goal. Tara is growing up way too fast! It is amazing how much she changes day by day. I miss her so much when I work this many shifts in a row. I can't wait to spend tomorrow with her. Oh, something great that happened this week is my aunt got me a bed! A full sized bed that Tara can take naps on with me! I wanted a real bed so badly the past few months, that I can't wait to get home tomorrow and be able to spend the next few nights sleeping on it! Well, I have to run and take care of babies. All the babies I have taken care of this week have genetic anomalies. It has been tough, physically, professionally, and emotionally. I feel so badly for some of these parents. I so wish that I could do something to make this all easier or better for them, but all I can do is pray and trust in God that they will have feel his strength and comfort to get them through this. Lori (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
1:55 am	Tara is doing great! Saw her ENT and her Pulmonologist last week. She is (mostly) doing fantastic. Her ENT had said before that Tara would need sinus surgery every 3 to 6 months... but 3 months ago we started using the non-toxic household products, at the same time as her last sinus and ear surgery. So this week her ENT was amazed at how good her ears and sinuses were. We did a hearing test and the hearing loss that we saw 3 months ago is healing itself and he said he doesnt need to see her again until there is an infection or problem. No guesses about how long it will be before she needs another surgery, but he didnt act like he thought it would be in the near future. Then the next day we went to the Pulmonologist and said that her asthma was the best it had ever been! He is even going to look at the products that we are using to maybe use in his office or even his home. :-) We are having some issues with Vitamin absorbtion right now. The doctor has majorly increased the vitamin dosage she is on. We may do some intracellular vitamin level lab tests in a few months if she is still showing signs of not absorbing her nutrients well enough. She is still bruising more than normal, even with decreasing the asthma meds. She is growing up so fast. She is talking and communicating better every day. She dances to music, and says the funniest things! LOL She is constantly testing the limits! I am so happy that we found something as easy as changing our cleaning and personal care products that is making such a differance for her health. I can't believe nobody told us how horribly some of those daily exposures to fumes could make her sick! LOL So I am telling everyone at work! Whether they choose to make any changes is up to them, but I will know that the people I know and care about have gotten the information! Well, its almost time for Zane to eat. I spent alot of time with his and Hannahs moms tonight. Tons of education and empowering these two first time moms. I am TIRED! Ready for morning to come and the bed to be available. LOL Lori (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 7th, 2006
5:13 am	Goals Aug 2006 Here are several catagories of goals for this month ( GOALS ) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
2:28 am	Ready for a Fantastic Month! I am going to go to a meeting for "Team in Training" this week. This is The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team In Training® program that gives you all sorts of professional training to prepare for a marathon (or triatholon, or Ironman... your choice) if you raise money for the LLS by participating in an event. I am really excited for a couple of reasons. I have ALWAYS wanted to run/walk a marathon (I would love to run one, but dont have the confidence in my ability to become that athletic to make that a goal... it is still a dream, but I know I can train to be able to walk, or do a combo of walking and running) and this might be a real chance for me to accomplish that dream. I also think that this will be a way for me to meet more people who are interested in things I am interested in and beleive strongly about... improving my fitness, making healthier choices, living a healthier lifestyle in any way we can. I am so annoyed by so many of the nurses I work with and their attitude toward healthy living practices. So many of them are either willfully ignorant or totally indifferant to whether the things they are doing are going to enhance or detract from the general health and fitness of themselves and their families. Most are not willing to do even simple things like limiting sugar or soda for themselves or their children, even when they DO know the consequences. GRRRR. Anyway, I figure people who are training to do a marathon, especially to aid cancer victims, are much more likely to be aware. They are willing to get out of the house and DO something, and want to improve themselves and help others. They are unlikely to smoke, so they are people Tara could be around if I make friends. People who are interested/educated about cancer treatment are likely to be knowledgable and accepting about the infection control things I do for Tara... many are similar to those used for immunologically supressed people like chemo patients. She can't be around sick people, drink from public water fountains, eat ice from public ice machines, things like that. I just am really excited about doing something proactive that is focusing on WELLNESS enhancement rather than illness. I love taking care of the babies, but sometimes having my life so constantly swamped with illness and death is overwhelming and unempowering. There are so many things that are NOT in my control, that focusing on some positive things that ARE in my control is refreshing and exciting. As a side benefit, it should help me keep losing weight and build a stronger body. I am having trouble getting back into a fitness routine and I think this might be a great motivator and give me people to be accountable to for following through with my weekly goals. I am thinking of joining a new website called Vitality for Life (VFL.com) that has food and exercise trackers plus alot of other features to start tracking my stuff. It costs to join, but you get money back if you log in and log your meals every day... so there is a real financial incentive to follow through, which might work well for me! LOL and I love the sound of some of the features. Have to see how the finances go the rest of this month first. I got a bonus from Melaleuca this month for refering several new customers and reaching director status, but my car is in the shop so we have to see how things balance out. I am going to post my goals for the month under a differant post, so that people can skip it easily. :-) I mostly put them in here for my benefit anyway (and because mom and Angel read them and that makes me somewhat accountable to follow through!) ( work ) ( Princess Tara update... warning contains CF and Medical stuff ) Thank you, Lord, for your strength and your Blessings in my life. Lori (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 6th, 2006
4:16 am	LaVera Called! Lavera called me at work tonight. I was so releived to hear from her! She gave me her new phone number and said the doorbell has not been working, that she did not realize I had stopped by to see her until she got the note the other day. She was at work tonight, and said she likes the new job. Sounds like everything is fine, and she is going to check her schedule and give me a call tomorrow night to let me know if we can get together on Thursday. She is eager to see Mom and Tara! :-) Also, I saw Denise tonight. She is probably buying a new car on Thursday and is going to give us a call to maybe stop by so we can see it. She feels like she needs something more reliable and roomy for travel nursing than what she has now. So everyone is doing good. :-) I have a new admit baby who has been a real handful a lot of the night. Came in just a little early (mom has to have gallbladder surgery in a few days, so they took him 5 weeks early) and didnt think it was going to be any big deal, he is a big boy. But he is wimpy, and ended up on the vent with umbilical lines and the whole bit. I ran my tail off the first few hours here because I was trying to admit him while taking care of 2 other babies. My little colostomy baby is doing good. She had a real, honest to goodness bowel movement tonight!! Maybe the first REAL one in her entire life. She is 9 weeks old. But the gas pains have really been making her fussy on and off, and I have been so tied up with the new baby I think she feels neglected. Another nurse actually came in and cuddled her for me a bit while I was tied up with intubating and starting an IV on my premie. Her surgical incision where they closed her colostomy a week ago dehisted a few days ago, so she has a big bulky dressing and it is hard to cuddle her without making her hurt more unless you are used to how to handle her. The other little peanut I was taking care of last night is an adorable black baby who is 4 and 1/2 pounds. She is a real little doll. She is rooming in tonight and her parents are doing a great job with her. But she was supposed to gain weight to be able to go home, and she lost a bit. So she may have to stay another night. :-( Her mom is so disappointed. Well, It is almost time for "H" to eat again. I better run. Lori (Comment on this)
Friday, July 28th, 2006
6:23 am	WOW!! I listened to about 5 Dani Johnson calls tonight while I was working... Just had them playing away in the background as I worked. I really wish we could all go to her Seminar in Dallas in 2 weeks, but since it is going to be sold out soon, the best I can see is to squeeze out money for one of us to go this time, and then work on getting the rest of us (including Billi) to future ones as soon as we can. In the mean time, I want to buy a few of her CDs and to keep listening to her calls FREQUENTLY!! The last one of June was great, about maximizing the last few days of the month... very applicable to us now. I hope I can get Angel to listen to it tomorrow. I need to work extra hours, but man am I glad I am off tonight. I am really worn out. The Vent baby I have been taking care of is a BUSY little lady, and the little cleft lip/palate boy I had tonight was a much nicer match with her than the child she was paired with last night. His dad is a lawyer and made me feel good by telling me 1. how lucky Tara is that I am her mom, and 2. How wonderful for both Tara and the other child it would be if I end up choosing to adopt another child sometime down the road. That was a nice boost from someone who does not know me well, just talked with me about 45 min about our respective kids, but quickly formed a good opinion of my skills as a mom. Well, need to go. Here is praying my car starts when I get off work so I can get home and get a little sleep this morning. :-) I hate mechanical gremlins... Lori (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
1:33 am	Tough Weekend Well, it has been a tough weekend here at work. Last night my babies were just "difficult" ie: pulling out IVs, Pulling off Colostomy bags, etc.. but were pretty healthy for NICU kids. Tonight one of them is really having trouble breathing. I have spent most of the shift messing with her, trying to help her get comfortable and able to breath adequately. The night shift doc wants me to get her through without having to make major changes until morning, when we will call the surgeon that repaired her airway 2 days ago and make sure that our expected course of action is okay with him. I understand the doc not wanting to annoy the surgeon, but on the other hand... I took care of her the past 2 nights and I know for a fact that this is much differant than last night. sigh. I finally got her situated in a position that seems to help, and her breathing is a bit easier. If it gets worse again I am going to make the doc do something... one way or the other. My primary care baby, a little colostomy girl who is an absolute doll is going for exploratory surgery on Monday. Her dad came in to see her tonight with mom. I have developed a really good relationship with mom, but had never seen dad before. He didn't seem to really engage her like I would have liked to see. Of course, given my own history, I tend to be very cynical about the dads that don't come often and then don't want to be involved in the care when they are here. I know they are not all like my ex... but enough are that I don't trust any of them! LOL I worked out for 30 min HIIT before work tonight, after eating an Access bar. Almost overdid it. I thought I had maybe pulled a groin muscle, but it is relaxing now, and I think I just worked it hard enough it was telling me so. I haven't been exercising regularly in awhile (since back before I got sick in April really) and I did a pretty thourough workout on the treadmill. It felt good. :-) And I am more awake and energetic tonight than I have been the past couple of nights. Someone was saying when I first got to work that they thought I had had too much coffee tonight! They were not used to me being such a chatterbox. Just wait until I get back to full speed on working out and losing weight, she hasn't seen ANYTHING yet. LOL Tara's skin infection is clearing up, and she is getting the high dose Vit K every day, so hopefully when we go back to the Dr in a couple of weeks her blood work will look better. OOps, got to go. Lori (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
12:34 am	oh, how I hate Migraines!! Had a really bad migraine on and off for the past couple of days. Could barely function. Did not get everything done I wanted or needed to by a long shot! But I did get all the essentials done. So my headache is mostly gone and I am back at work tonight. Plan to spend an hour or so hiking around the zoo with Tara and Mom and a friend from work (Denise) before I go to bed in the morning. Then need to be up by 4 to make some business calls. Walking at the zoo in the morning will count as my 2nd cardio this week, so I am only short 1 so far... and I did weights 1 day, so need to do them 2 more to meet my goals for the week. We will see, but I am going to try. My weight is down a bit to 240.5... I am hoping to break into the 230s by the beginning of the week. :-) Tara has a Dr. appt on Friday morning and we are going to talk to him about her bruising so much. I imagine they are going to run some lab work to check various blood levels and make sure her heparin and Vit K doses are appropriate for her, as well as check her blood cell counts and stuff. I know that 2 year olds get bruised up alot, and my mom and I both bruise easily, but hers are definitely excessive and last longer than they should. Poor baby, like she needs anything else to have to deal with! Karma had a doctors appt for her 1 year birthday today. She is up to almost the 50% on height and on weight, and slightly over 50% on head circ. Not bad for a baby that stayed in the 3 to 5% for months and months. She is doing wonderfully! We had a little birthday party for her last night, and got some cute pics. Unfortunately, that is when my migraine was at its worst, so I didnt get to enjoy it much. But I toughed it out until after the cake and presents. Better get back to work. Lori Current Music: Bach (Comment on this)
Friday, July 7th, 2006
6:23 am	Happy July!! Okay, haven't updated in a while... guess I will start with goals, fitness stuff, then my favorite subject...TARA! LOL Goals: I am finally completely recovered from the surgery, so I am committing to working out with weights at least 3 times this week, and doing cardio at least 3 times this week. I will start with reasonable weights and NOT overdue and make myself unable to do anything for a long time like I am prone to do when I haven't worked out for awhile! I will measure my food portions and work on getting back to 5-6 small meals a day (ie body for life type meals) instead of the way I have been doing it. I will measure and record my water every day in my date book, and be accountable on here, with a minimum of 100 oz a day, and a goal of 150 oz a day. I will record my hours of sleep and strive to average 6 to 8 hours of quality sleep in every 24 hours. I will do at least 2 "fun" projects with Tara each week... painting, "art", dance lessons, something fun... working toward 1 a day. Playdough, reading and cuddling dont count! I will post on my online boards at least 3 times a week. I will do something toward improving my interpersonal relationships with "real" people each week (phone a friend, make a zoo date, drop a card in the mail...) I will go to church or a church activity 1 time a week! I will schedule this in my date book and make it a priority. Okay... That is enough of a stretch for this month I think! Now, to update my fitness stuff for the month. I am 243 pounds. Down tons of inches (4 inches in my waist alone!) Feeling SO much better, more energy. Tara is trying to be sick again, but I think it is an allergy to the new Hay we got. I am VERY allergic to grasses and hays. She started getting sick the day after we got hay from a new source. So she is banned from feeding horses right now, which breaks her heart. If she gets all better from the change, we might try letting her help again next week with a mask on. It will be a good way to teach her to wear a mask maybe. :-0 My releif is here, so have to run. hugz. Lori (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 26th, 2006
4:38 am	Some nights seem to go on forever. Some just race by in a blur... The time spent here is the same, only the pace, the perspective is differant. Tonight I keep finding myself standing at the window, staring out into the world, longing to walk under the trees, feel the wind on my face, breath fresh air. The view from up here is so beautiful, the skyline spread in a wash of blue and green in the evening, pink and purple tinted at dusk, a gorgeous blend of black and grey with bright sparkling diamonds of lights throughout the night. But it all feels so remote, so distant, so unreachable. I dreamed of the ocean last night, heard the waves and the gulls in my sleep. Felt the sand under my feet. Smelt the salt and the fish and the seaweed. I think I need a vacation. :-) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 25th, 2006
2:46 am	How to balance and prioritize the things in my life? Well, it has been awhile since I have been on here. Things have been very crazy busy, and computer time to chat or even for a little introspective thought has been pretty low on my priority list. But I have about 45 min before my next baby is due to eat, and I am really struggling with how to prioritize my life right now. Maybe typing it on here with help. And if not... maybe one of my Lj friends will have some insight that will help me :-) I have lost about 35 pounds (YIPEE!!). ( Priority 1: Fitness ) I have started a home business that I really enjoy. ( Priority 2: Finances, Job, and Home business ) I want to spend more time with Tara. I want to be alert and awake and energetic throughout the day to enjoy the time I spend with her. I want to cherish every minute of her childhood. If I get into better shape, work the business enough I can afford to go to day shift, and then to go to part time... and maybe to even change to a differant job without the long commute and long shifts, then I will be able to do that. But to get there I have to spend the time away from her to work out, to sleep, to work the business... So I am constantly torn about how to balance it all. Time to brag a bit... ( TARA ) This week at work has been tough. We have lost alot of babies recently. ( NICU stuff ) Well, Anna is due to eat, so I better run. .............Lori (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 27th, 2006
10:28 pm	Memorial Day Weekend Well, I haven't been on here in forever. I haven't been online much at all. Tara had to have surgery, not long after I totaled my car, then last week I had surgery. I haven't worked much, and when I did I felt pretty bad, so wasn't online or doing anything other than working to give good care to my patients. It is so much harder to take care of the babies and families really well when I am not feeling well. I feel like I have to push to get all my work done during my shift the last couple of months, where usually I have some free time in the middle of the night when I am all caught up and there are no families there needing me. Anyway, I am healing slowly, although still have to be very careful what I eat and am pretty sore. This weekend is my Ex-husbands once a year mandated visitation with our daughter, so we drove almost 700 miles to Middle TN for him to see her. I felt pretty sore and sick by the time we got here, and she was tired, cranky, and had a diaper rash from being in the car seat so much. Then, he started whining that the motel I got was farther from his house then he wanted to drive to see her!! I was all prepared to pack up and head home if he was nasty or unpleasant with her at all, or if he gave me excessive greif over anything today. Then, once he got here, he started acting much more like he did last year when he saw her. He paid attention to her, took most of her cues about how fast to move into her space and how quickly she was willing to accept him, played with her letting her direct the play, etc. He stayed through her entire evening breathing treatments and CPT session (almost 2 1/2 hours just for that) which is the first time he has ever stayed for a full therapy session like that. At the end of the evening he changed his mind and said instead of sleeping late and coming to see her at 11am like this morning as he had originally planned he would be here at 9 am. I am so glad that she is getting these good visits with him. Whatever happens in the future she will have pictures and the stories me and my mom can tell her about these visits last year and this year. He has remarried to the woman he was fooling around with while we were married. She has a daughter a few years older than Tara. Judging by how he has treated his 2 older children, now 15 and 11 years old, I don't count on him maintaining any consistant relationship through the years with Tara, but I try to encourage it as much as is good for Tara. I can't have her do without things she needs and spend the money to bring her up here more often when we are broke, and he hasn't ever made the effort to come down there to see her. I need to make sure she is physically safe and her medical needs are met (ie, I can't just let him take her off for unsupervised visits when he doesnt have a clue what her special needs and requirements are)... but as much as I can I am trying to get him to send pics (unsuccessfully so far, although I do get some at each visit with my camera) to keep her photo album up to date, and try to interfere as little as possible in their interactions when we are visiting. Tomorrow he is supposed to get the older kids to come see her in the afternoon, which I would really like, as she needs updated pics and stuff of them. Steps come and go, but brothers and sisters are family. I am much more concerned with her developing a relationship with her brother and sister than with her dads new wife and stepdaughter. If they stay married a while I know that will change, but for right now it just doesnt seem a priority. I am really excited by a new home business I started while I was off work so much the past few weeks. I found some kid friendly products that are better for the environment, better for TARA and our family, cheaper, and don't have many of the toxic fumes that bother both Tara and I so much. And, They work better than the regular brands for the most part!! The products are not sold in stores, and are not sold by people directly either. Instead, they are sold word of mouth and the person who refers a new customer gets a percentage of everything they buy as long as they stay a regular customer. So I dont have to sell, stock, take money, etc etc... but I can tell people about the great products I like, or show people I know the ones I am using in my home, and if they decide to buy stuff direct from the company, I make money off the sales. And I am not responsible for anything to do with the order other than the original referal and any further help I want to offer on trying new products or whatever. I am really excited. I have a few referals already signed up and should get a small check middle of this month, and a bigger one next month. I am going to use some internet advertising stuff to try to increase my referals and get the income up high enough to make up for me cutting back a bit at work. Well, I better jump off of here for now. Morning with come early, and it will be another emotional day, dealing with not only my ex, but the 2 children I really came to love during our marriage that I now have basically nothing to do with, trying not to create tension with their dad and new step mom. And Tara and all her emotions during all this. Good night.... Lori Current Mood: tired Current Music: Songs of the whales (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 5th, 2006
4:04 am	I am disappointed with myself... I really started off Feb going great guns toward a new me. Working the Body for Life program. Using the exercycle when I was at home and lifting weights or jumping the mini trampoline when I was in Dallas. The first 8 days of Feb I did my journal and all the different parts of the plan mostly like I was supposed to do. Then, I had a few days I didnt feel well. Then Tara was sick. Yada Yada Yada. One excuse after another. So on March 3 when we did the one month measurements... mine are not down at all. Which REALLY sucks. I have been mostly staying on plan food wise, a few little splurges but more problems with not eating often enough and not drinking my water then with eating lots of stuff I shouldnt (hmm, seems like that is how I blow every diet now that I think about it...). The frustrating part is how inconsistent I have been with exercising. So I am recommitting to finishing out my 12 week challenge and working toward my goals as of today. I worked on my journal a bit after I got to work, putting in the food I ate and will eat tonight, and planning tomorrows menu. Putting in my 24 hour goals, and planning my exercise for tomorrow. Rereading my long term goals and reminding myself what I want to accomplish and why. On the positive side, my weight is slightly down. My clothes feel like they fit better. I generally feel like I have more energy and more strength and flexibility... although the past few days I have been totally wiped out. Maybe because the past several nights at work have been very tough ones, very physical as well as nursing skill intense. I am concentrating on drinking my water and eating my food as planned tonight and see if that helps my energy level. Even if it doesnt, I am committing to working out when I get home one way or the other!! Last night 15 min on the treadmill wiped me out... and that is NOT okay~! I was doing 1 hour 10 min... 5 miles on the treadmill when I weighed 30 and 40 pounds more than I do now, and not being as tired as I was after the 15 min and less than 1 mile I did! I really, really want to walk/jog a half marathon this year. I want to start riding horses again, badly enough I have seriously been thinking about paying someplace to rent a horse and take some lessons once a week to get myself to the skill level I need to be at to care for a horse, saddle and tack it, and ride well enough to ride with Tara. But I am so scared that I couldnt even haul my fat butt up onto the horse, with or without help, that I am afraid to try. How embarrassing would it be to schedule a lesson and not be able to getting into the saddle?? GRRR. So how do I strengthen the muscles I need to mount and ride without actually mounting and riding? I know the squats should help with that some, and they are some of the few exercises I have continued doing pretty consistently over the past month. I want to bicycle and it not kill my butt or my legs. LOL So why is it so easy to make excuses not to do my planned workout? I know I feel better when I do them. I know that all the things I want to do require a higher level of fitness than I have right now, and the only way to change that is to become more fit. Sigh. I guess I just have to keep working at it and get past whatever it is that is holding me back so badly. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Monday, February 6th, 2006
3:12 am	The week in Retrospect Well, it has been a crazy week at our East Texas Funny Farm! Everyone but me was sick, and I didn't feel well on Thurs and Friday. I called in FMLA to take care of Tara Thur, Fri, and Sat... Only I forgot to call in on Sat until 30 min before the shift started! Yikes. I can't beleive I did that, but also can't beleive nobody called to check how we were doing. Oh, well. No huge repercussions on it that I can tell at this point. It may count against me on my eval next year, but I will worry about that in Sept. I started BFL officially on Monday. I had kind of started it in November, then fell and hurt my foot so I really had a hard time exercising according to his schedule and just "kind of" followed the plan from then until this week. Lost 10 pounds anyway. :-) But I bought the "Journal to Success" and filled in the various exercises and things and Really, Officially started on Monday. Only thing I am not doing is buying his supplements, which I would have to do to be eligible for the prizes he gives out each year. I figure if I do well the next 12 weeks and want to do a REALLY official challenge this summer and buy the supplements, there will still be plenty of room for improvement at that point! LOL So this week I have stuck to the food plan, and even though I was really pretty icky feeling on Thurs and Friday I *mostly* did the exercise plan. As of Friday I was down 3 pounds. My official weigh in is tomorrow, so we will see how it goes then, but I am feeling really good about it. I can fit into my black size 22 pants that wouldn't even zip in December, and now they are actually baggy in the bottom. I feel like I am thinner in the waist and definitely more toned. Angel and I did measurements on Tues Jan 31 and will do them again at the end of the month and compare. Angel has been doing a Sparkpeople calorie counting program. She is doing pretty well, and really starting to show some thinning in her body and especially her abd. She isn't seeing a lot on the scale yet, but she has only been at it 3 weeks, and has been sick with this "crud" most of that. Karma is growing (14 pounds at 7 months!) and really developing well. Mom had to take antibiotics for her sinus infection with this stuff. I am hoping that I dodged the bullet and missed getting it at all. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
5:00 am	This and That Our Neonatologist just ran down the hall yelling, "He's got cooties, darn it, he's got cooties!" LOL It is one of the Docs I really like, has a sense of humor AND common sense... an unusual combo for a Doc!! They just admitted the 4th baby of the night and were hoping he was not really sick, but the labs came back showing he has an infection. The 26 weeker they admitted at change of shift weighs 440 grams... less than 1 pound. It is pretty unstable still, so we will see how it does over the next couple of days. One of "my" babies is going home Sat or Sun. I am so happy for him an his family. And I am so pleased with how well his parents are doing at learning how to deal with the oxygen and feed pump and meds and stuff. :-) I have a headache AGAIN! And am feeling kind of nauseous at the moment. Bloated feeling. I have to stop at the store when I get off work to get a few things, then I am going to head to the apartment and hopefully clean it up some before I pass out. Mom and Tara are coming in Today or Tomorrow and the place is pretty trashed. I haven't done a thing but sleep and eat there the past 6 days. Well, I took out the trash last night, but that is it. Mom and Tara are both sick tonight. Mom has a migraine and sick to her stomach and Tara has a sore throat and cough. One of the ladies I work with took her son to the doctor last friday and he tested positive for the flu. God, I hope that is not what is going through our house. Tonight one of the moms was holding her baby and suddenly turned green and clamped her hand over her mouth. I grabbed a wash tub and she threw up in it. I am hoping THAT was not the flu too. That baby DOESN"T need any more challenges. She is doing so much better since the second round of Chemo therapy finished. Sigh. I hate winter viruses!! (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
6:39 am	Feeling Better I am personally feeling a lot better today. Thank you, Lord! But almost everyone else in my family is sick. I am seriously hoping I don't catch the bug. And that Mom doesn't catch it. Tara is already sick, as is my stepdad, sister, and neice. They all came down with it about the same time. I am really being diligent about taking my vitamin C and other vitamins. Because of the time of the month and cramps and all, I have been really tired the past few days, and have skipped working out in favor or getting at least 7 hours of sleep a day. When I work long stretches like this I can really get worn out and that makes me more likely to get sick. On the other hand, I don't want to skip too many work outs. So this afternoon I am planning to get up early to do my laundry anyway, so plan to work out while the washer and drys are running. Today is the first day in several that I have drank my water like I usually do. I am seriously thinking about finding out about getting bottled water delivered to my apartment. I really hate the Dallas water, and buying it by the 16 or 20 oz bottle at the store is a hassle and expensive. But tonight I have drank 6 bottles, plus 2 cups of hot tea. Since I am cutting the creamer out these days I am drinking more tea and less coffee. LOL That always happens when I do this. I really like my coffee better with creamer. But a pound a week isn't worth it. I would rather save those calories for high nutrient density foods if I am going to use them at all. I would really rather lose the extra pound a week. LOL Tonight I forgot to eat dinner. I had 3 snacks... but never got around to going off the floor to eat a real meal. Sigh. That is one of the worst habits I fall into on night shift. I have to consciously make myself eat or I just lose track of it. My babies did very well tonight. Oops, my relief is here, I have to go. Lori (Comment on this)
Friday, January 20th, 2006
12:31 am	Another crazy week... Well, I had another crazy week. LOL So what else is new, hmmm? I will get the weight stuff out of the way first. ( Weigh in info and updated goals ) Mom and Bruce went away for a couple days (a kind of belated honeymoon) and had a good time. I was so glad. I wish they would take the time to do things together a bit more often. They always seem to have fun and both come back looking so much more relaxed and happy. Billi is taking Cricket back to her place. In a way I will miss her. She is a pretty, sweet little mare, but I am also glad. I think we will all mess with the horses more with her gone. I know I am intimidated by the way they all act when I go out there right now. With Jewel and Patrick together and CupCake in a pen by herself I think I will be lots more likely to go out and throw a lead rope on one of them and brush them out or lead them around. ( Tara ) My babies at work are doing so well. The Chemo Therapy baby is improving dramatically. We will find out tomorrow if she can swallow at all or if we are likely to be giving her a g-tube and nissan. Her liver is shrinking, and she is breathing easier with the pressure off of her lungs. She is so cute. And I adore her parents. Wish I could adopt them into our family!! LOL The other little one is also progressing well. He is starting to look around and pay attention to his surroundings more. His father is beginning to "get it" about his condition, although his mom remains... irratic in her belief/understanding. But they both seem to be bonding with him and that is nice to see. So often at least one parent does not bond well with a baby who has physical abnormalities or mental handicaps, little less both, that for me to have 2 sets of parents who are both doing so well with such severely handicapped children is incredible. It sure does make the long shifts nicer to know that the babies are truely loved by their parents, regardless of the hardships ahead. Today on the way to work the knob to the temp control on my heater/airconditioner in the car came off in my hand. Sigh. So I just rolled the windows down and let the breeze cool me. I will have to get that fixed when I take the car in to get the catalytic converter replaced in a couple of weeks. With all the car troubles we have had recently when it happened, all I could do was sit there and look at it laying in my hand for a minute. LOL then I set it beside me on the seat and rolled down the window and started laughing. It was laugh or cry, and laughing is more fun and doesn't give me a headache. Sheesh. What next? Never mind, God, I don't want to know. I will see when it gets here. LOL (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 15th, 2006
4:18 am	If life is a Game, These are the Rules by Cherie Carter-Scott,PH.D ( the Ten rules to being human ) (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 14th, 2006
7:28 pm	I hate migraines!! I was honestly enthused about walking after work this morning. Yesterdays walk made me feel soooooo good. Then at 6am I suddenly got slammed with a migraine. Took some meds and it started easing off enough I could drive safely. I almost went ahead and tried to walk (I was telling myself that maybe the fresh air would make me feel better). Then I reminded myself that if my migraine increased I would be alone, away from home or the apartment and unable to drive. HMMM... decided not to chance it and went to the aptment. Took my meds and went to bed. Good thing, I think, because I am definitely "post migraine" tonight. Sore neck and back, fuzzy head, tender eyes. Otherwise I feel pretty good. Since I didn't get to walk this AM I did some intense weights this evening. I did not have lots of time, but I did fewer reps at higher weights and did about 20 min that felt like a real work out. If I feel good in the morning I might do a quick 20 min walk before I leave Dallas. It might wake me up and help make me more alert on the drive. We will see how I feel. Mom and Bruce are going away for a couple of nights tomorrow. I was thinking about buying mom a slinky nightgown just for the fun of it, but wasn't sure either of them would really appriciate it, so didn't. LOL Tara has speech therapy coming Tuesday. I am so glad. She is so prime to really start communicating right now and I am not sure of the right things to do to help her. She chatters alot, but I can not understand much of what she says at all. Mom understands her better than I do. Of course, mom spends more awake time per week with her than I do, so she has an advantage. LOL I am so glad I get 24 hour a day for the next 3 or 4 days with her. I miss her so much!! But I feel so good about the fact that I am making some progress with our money too. ( money and goals stuff ) It is funny how feeling like you are getting control of one part of your life motivates you to get control of other parts of your life. I feel like I am slowly gaining control of my weight and fitness and now I want control of my personal space (more organized, less clutter) and my money too. And starting to get control of the finances makes me feel more able to control the weight and fitness. That is a strange thing. Well, off to weigh and bath my little Angels. Both of their parents are upset that I am going to have a night off, they are so used to me taking care of them the past couple of weeks that they are nervous about who will be here with them the next few days. That makes me feel good in some ways, but also uncomfortable that they don't have more confidence in the staff in general than that. So I am working to make sure the charts and rooms are in good shape to make it easy for whoever has them to see how we have been doing things and hopefully do things enough the same to reassure the parents. :0 Lori Current Mood: good (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 13th, 2006
10:55 pm	Some days are just TOO good! Hmmm, let's see. Started when I got off work and my paycheck was actually a little MORE than I expected, rather than less! Then I walked/jogged 3 miles on the trail by the hospital in 45 mins. It was very pleasantly chilly out. Tried to run to the fabric store to get a new blanky for Tara, but they didn't open for another 45 min and I was not up to waiting that long. I purposely set my alarm to allow me to sleep 7 hours and woke up feeling good. Got my chores done and a few exercises, then off to work on time. I found some sugar free chocolate with no aspartime in the gift store on the ground floor of the hospital and stopped to buy it (I have been having a major chocolate attack the past few days and couldn't find any non migraine inducing options at the store this week!!) So I clocked in 10 min late, but the girl I was releiving did not mind. Our babies had a great day and report only took a few minutes, so she still got to leave on time. Our Chemotherapy baby is responding SO well to the second round of treatment! Praise God. I almost started crying when I saw how good she looked yesterday. The other baby's parents are slowly beginning to realize how serious their infants condition is and I have spent a lot of time the past few days doing education with them. They are starting to learn how to hand his G-tube this week. He is actually progressing fairly well, all things considered. I have gotten several things on my To-Do list done this week, which gives me a feeling of accomplishment, and I only have one more night after tonight and I get to spend 3 days at home with my baby!! Yippee! I miss her when I work the overtime, but I feel good about what I am accomplishing for our finances. My mom and stepdad are going away for a couple of days of romance, which I am happy to about. I think they both need the time away from the family to concentrate on each other and themselves for a little while. I am pleasantly sore from the exercise the past 2 days, so I am really motivated to keep it up. I am going to walk/jog again after work in the morning. I need to do some weights tomorrow, but don't know if the time will work out. If not I will do them Sunday and Tuesday, on my days off work and at home. Lori Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Baby Einsteins Musical Playtime (Comment on this)